*Emer-ism*

Dear Potential Intern:

When you use words like “assiduous” on your resume, you make your prospective internship mentor, i.e. me, feel dumb, and she just doesn’t like that. You want this internship, right? It comes with a decent stipend. Next time, use “caring”, because not only does that comply with health literacy standards, you will not dampen the ego of an established public health professional who deludes herself into thinking she knows her shit.

Sincerely and “Assiduously”,

Me, Your Potential Internship Mentor

P.S. Use that expansive vocabulary of yours and find better a better action word than “Aid”. If I see it any more times, I will “aid” your resume to the bottom of the pile.

P.P.S. Your past experience needs to be written in past tense, thank you. Unless, that is, you are still performing all those functions.

P.P.P.S. I don’t care where you went to high school. You’re in grown-up people school, now. It doesn’t belong in your resume. And, for the record, your first school listed should be the one you are currently attending. I am lazy and unwilling to read beyond the first few lines.

On a gorgeous day such as today, it is a bad idea to sit inside on the computer organizing your photos and music (and ogling pictures and live videos of Gallows).  Go outside and enjoy the day.

Love, me

fuckyeahpuns:

hilarion: latenightepisodes: sortofkindofmaybe: rahrahmissa: emilysachs: pinksparklypants: beckybethx: kirstymcarthur: future-naut: (via -woodenboat-deactivated20100820)

“Okay,” I said. “You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I’m never gonna give you Up.